Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
