You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
