One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize