those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
