Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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