Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
