He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
