Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
