i may or may not be watching the land before time
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
