My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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