just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
