just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
