Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize