Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
