Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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