Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
