Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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