Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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