please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
