I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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