no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
