My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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