Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
