So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
