in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
