I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
