You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
