I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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