You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
