How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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