i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
