My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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