and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
