Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
