I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
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