need another drink. this is the easiest way
My first STD was from a foam party
Jerry, you need to find god
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
