also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
