We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
