My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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