I feel like I'm in dance class right now
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
