I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
