didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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