On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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