i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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