You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
