Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
They are going to name an STD after you.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
