i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
