so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You can't special order awesome
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
