Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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