Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
