At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When did angry sex become our thing?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
