I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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