I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
