Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
