hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
