I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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