my sisters under your porch take her home
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize