I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
