Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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