She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
