Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
God, I missed his penis.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
