I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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