Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
