I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
