Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
